'You have got to be bloody kidding’ exclaimed Johno to no-one in particular. ‘NoVax Jokervitch has been deported from Australia.’ ‘But I thought you were supporting the cancellation of his Visa,’ replied Alphy. ‘I did - but what we should have done is waited until he reached the finals, then deported him,’ said Johno with a wry grin.
Read MoreAlphy observed that the Saps were often quite sentimental about certain rituals. In Australia, one of these being Christmas. Despite the fact that Australia was a secular society and those stating that they were practicing Christians was relatively low; it was clearly still one of the major celebrations of the year.
Read More'Well,’ said Johno, ‘another Australian Cricket Captain bites the dust.’ Alphy looked confused. Johno continued, ‘He was sexting to a female four years ago and now it has all come out. It is a monumental cock-up - literally’.
Read More'So what do you think of President Macron calling the Australian Prime Minister a liar?' asked Alphy of Johno. ‘Perhaps Scomo should have taken note of what another famous Frenchman, Napoleon once stated, ‘The best way to keep one’s word is not to give it,’ he said with a smirk. ‘His integrity, diplomatically, is now about as low as a nuclear powered submarine in the Mariana Trench.'
Read MoreAlphy couldn’t help himself. Cosmologists back on AC (Alpha Centauri) had messaged him a few days earlier that a sizeable earthquake would hit Australia and the epicentre would be in Victoria.
Read MoreWell so much for the diplomacy of the Australian Saps thought Alphy. ‘So how did you think Australia handled giving the French the bad news?’ Asked Alphy of Johnno. ‘Well that has stuffed it for future holidays in France. I used to make sure in cafés and wine bars, that I let the staff know I came from Australia, to avoid getting crap service being mistaken for a Pom. Now I’ll have to pretend to be a Kiwi, Fesh and Cheps sil vous plait.’
Read MoreAlphy observed that so-called Western cultures of the Saps did not respect old age and also did not treat their elderly people well. Putting them into Aged Don’t Care Homes. Suitably concentrated to maximise the impact of unvaccinated health care workers.
Read MoreIt had not escaped the attention of Alphy that the Saps rockets were phallic shaped. This conjured up all sorts of ugly imagery given Richard Branson’s ‘space’ company was called Virgin Galactic.
He had recently watched the latest ‘space’ jaunt by another billionaire egonaut, Jeff Bezos, in his New Shephard, (who gives a flock), rocket ship. A flight that lasted all of 10 minutes and cost the equivalent of a Third World country’s annual GDP.
Read MoreAlphy was sitting in the car with Johno and Janno queueing up for a McDonald’s, which in true Aussie style was referred to as Macca’s. ‘You not having one mate’ asked Johnno of Alphy, who was feeling decidedly nauseous. Just the thought of eating food derived from life-forms was something Alphy considered truly barbaric. When he had queried Johnno about the ethics of eating meat he had replied, that as they were far less intelligent animals, it was ok to kill them for food. On that basis, Alphy thought he would be entitled to kill Johnno and Janno for dinner, but ignored the temptation to tell them.
Read MoreOn the previous Thursday, a major storm hit Melbourne and Victoria. Janno and Johno had friends up in the Dandenongs, a scenic area and popular tourist destination on the outskirts of Melbourne. The area was known in particular for its National Parks containing cool temperate rainforests home to the world's tallest flowering trees, known as Mountain Ash. These trees averaging heights of 90 metres and circumferences of 7.5 metres.
Read MoreHow ironic Alphy thought he had travelled 4.367 light-years to Earth, only to find himself confined in a lockdown to a 10-kilometre radius from home. He could have left Earth, entering the nearest portal, but he had volunteered for the mission and felt obliged to stay.
Read MoreAlphy smiled inwardly, (which he could actually do), as he read new reports of UAP’s (Un-identified Aerial Phenomena) previously known as UFO’s, and the fact that the United States was delivering a report to the US Congress on these, next month.
Read MoreAlphy observed that slavery was still widely practiced on Earth. The Saps called it work. Employers owned employee slaves. The Saps endured this for the receipt of money — they were enslaved by the need of money.
Read MoreAlphy, so named, but known only to him, (him being the human construct he had adopted whilst on earth); in honour of his home planet of Alpha Centauri (AC).
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