RASPUTIN

'Did you enjoy your break?’ Enquired Johnno of Alphy. He gave a fake smile, resisting the internal urge to instead start crying. Alphy had in fact ignored the implicit instructions of the Guardians back on AC, and had deliberately gone into a war zone. Travelling via std (space-time discontinuum) portals, he had transported himself in a matter of minutes from Melbourne to Ukraine.

It was one thing to observe events on television, something entirely different when experienced in person. What he saw was the enigma of the Saps, their bravery and barbarity. To witness villages totally destroyed, and executed civilian bodies left where they were murdered, was something he would never forget. He had filmed the scenes, but was now faced with a dilemma. He was sure that if he sent these images, together with first-hand commentary, back to AC, it would hasten the classification of the Saps into the ‘critically endangered - intervention not warranted’ category. This contrasted with the inspiring spirit and bravery of ordinary Ukrainians he had met, who had stayed to fight, knowing full well the strength and moral bankruptcy of their opponents. It was this contradiction with the Saps that despite all their flaws still endeared most of them to him.

However, what was it about the Saps thought Alphy, that throughout their history, authoritarian male dictators were allowed to emerge and inevitably take their countries to ruinous wars, or murder millions of their citizens, or both.

Janno had often said to Alphy that the problem with the human condition was patriarchal societies combined with social and political systems that entrenched inequity.

'He’s a latter-day RASPUTIN - Ruthlessly, Aggressive, Sociopathic - Putin,’ said Johhno.

Back on AC, Alphy knew he would be added onto the list of Intergalactic Crimes against the Universe, but without direct intervention, this would be of little value to the thousands of Saps still to die from his actions. Unfortunately he knew the Guardians had determined that the Saps were not worthy of direct intervention.

Meanwhile back in Australia it was election time, with the country having to go to the polls on the 21st May. The erstwhile man of the people, SCOMO, was suffering from constant critiques of his integrity, most notably including, many existing and former members of his own party. Resulting in a trust deficit lower than the Mariana Trench.

Johnno had remarked that he thought he was now so unpopular that a large number of punters were lining up to give SCOMO a metaphorical Will Smith slap come election day.

'I don’t think he should revisit flood areas affected for the second time and still awaiting Government support, or it might not result in a metaphorical slap,’ said Janno with a smirk.

'Then we have Anthony Albonesia, starting his campaign, unable to answer two basic economic questions. Let’s hope it’s not the start of his autobiography How I snatched defeat from the jaws of victory.’ said Johhno.

And now we also have the Trump “mini-me” Clive Palmer, or in his case Trump “maxi-me”.’ Whose campaign slogan is Freedom Forever. Freedom to spend obscene amounts of money on electioneering. Freedom to not get vaccinated. And the Freedom to spread totally uninhibited, Covid throughout the community.’

The serious ongoing record-breaking flooding across the East Coast of Australia, again raised the issue of the impending and ongoing impacts of Climate Change. Again, Alphy was despairing at the inability of the Saps to implement timely and effective carbon abatement measures.

This combined with the events he had witnessed in Ukraine prompted him to consider cancelling his mission to Earth and returning back to AC. But watching the community-based efforts of the Saps in flood rescue and recovery programs, yet again he was swayed by the inspirational elements of ordinary people.

'Still we have the Easter break to look forward to,’ said Janno desperate to add a more positive tone.

Alphy had observed how despite being a largely secular society, Christian-based holidays, such as Christmas and Easter, were still an important element of the Australian calendar.

'Yes,’ said Johnno, ‘as we ritualise this time, every year; on the third day he rose - went to the kitchen and partook of the chocolate Easter Bunny.’