The Wisdom of Solomon

'We’ve become even closer to becoming a Chinese take-away,’ exclaimed Johnno. ‘SCOMO and his Foreign Affairs Ministers displaying the Wisdom of Solomon - not!’

'In the past decade, not only have we not built any new submarines, we cancelled at a price tag of $5billion, a contract with France, after an inordinate amount of time, deciding on it. To be replaced by new submarines from AUKUS, yet to be selected, and the earliest delivery being 2050.’

'Our defence capability is now so stuffed, we might as well put signs in Chinese along the north coast of Australia saying, “Wrong way—go back”.’

'SCOMO keeps referring to Solomon Islanders as part of the Pacific Family,’ said Janno. ‘Now the paternalistic self-appointed elder of the family has pissed off Manasseh Sogavare to such an extent that he has invited into their home, Chinese guests.’

'The critical issue being of course,’ said Johnno, ‘is that these guests have nuclear weapons, and as we have seen with RASPUTIN, this emboldens him to inflict a brutal level of aggressiveness, because of the implicit fear of escalation.’

Alphy winced at the reminder of the consistent failure of the Saps to resolve conflicts peacefully and resorting instead to war.

He had observed that the pathetic level of political discourse was one of the major impediments to the Saps evolution. Unfortunately, becoming increasingly evident, even in democracies like Australia, US, and UK.

This was echoed by Janno, ‘we’ve lost trust in our politicians.’

'And worryingly this is leading to a distrust in democracy,’ responded Johnno. ‘Resulting in the ever-increasing influence of extreme parties, such as the Far Right in France. Can you believe that forty-three percent of voters that did vote in France, voted for Marine Le Pen, proving Le Pen is mightier than accord.’

'Liberty, Equality and Fraternity, is drifting to Oppression, Inequality, and Xenophobia,' said Alphy.

'Spot on' said Johhno.'Meanwhile, erstwhile man of the people SCOMO, has taken standards to a new low. Taking pork barrelling to a level where the expression "like a pig in shit’ takes on a whole new level of meaning. Not surprisingly, he consistently refuses to implement an effective corruption commission!

'Then we also have the continuing saga of the most prominent female within the government, Miss Ogyny. The most recent example being, SCOMO recently turning a blind eye to poor treatment of a women by one of his Ministers, who has reluctantly stood aside as a Minister, but amazingly is still in Cabinet. Tudge, Tudge, wink, wink.’

On the other side, we have the choice of aspiring contender for the role of PM, Anthony Albonesia, the champion of the Forgotten People. Forgotten because he can’t remember their names.’

'People also seem very angry at the moment,’ said Janno. ‘I wonder if it is a reaction to two years of ongoing lock-downs. I’m amazed that now we are mostly vaccinated there are many people, typically anti-vaxers, who are commenting on how low the death rate from Covid currently is, and therefore questioning the need for previous lock-downs? Totally forgetting the whole point of the lock-downs, given the initial SCOMO vaccine stroll out, was to allow us to safely transition to a highly vaccinated status.’

'Unfortunately, we are increasingly living in a post-truth age,’ said Johnno. ‘Beliefs, not facts, is all that matters. Especially if it is reinforced by the conspiratorial social-media rabbit hole that many have gone down. “I believe—therefore it is,” is the new mantra.’

Alphy couldn’t take any more, he was literally Sapped, and went for a walk into Carlton Gardens. When he had arrived on Earth, he thought how pathetic and primitive it was that the Saps did not control their weather. But he was surprised to find that he had come to enjoy the variability and unpredictability of the weather, especially in ever changeable Melbourne. In fact, on reflection, he felt that on AC, protected as it was by an invisible shield surrounding it, to use a Johnno expression, the consistent “perfect days” was in reality “boring as batshit.”

He had commented on this in one of his reports back to AC and also sent them a copy of the Crowded House (Melbourne Anthem), ‘Four Season in One Day,’ which had become an instant favourite with the Centaurians.

This was the great paradox thought Alphy, the Saps were primitive and often barbaric, but he had to admit, on occasions, compared to life back on peaceful and harmonious AC, it was often stimulating and exhilarating.

Robert Stygall