DNAstic Degeneration

The Saps, much to the amusement of Alphy, considered themselves to be of superior intelligence, but many, much to his bewilderment, still believed in Hereditary Royalty. In particular, he was amazed that societies that considered themselves advanced democracies had constitutional power, (and taxpayers money), invested in Royal households that were not based on meritocracy but purely on inherited familial connection. Their total qualifications to be Monarch was to be born to the previous Monarch; who in turn had qualified to be Monarch because…

What was even more preposterous, was that Australia could have a Head of State who was not even Australian.

This primitive form of governance resulted in a long line of intergenerational decadence and sordid behaviour, culminating in the current saga of Randy Andy.

Back on AC, they had long since characterised societies based on Royalty, as inherently incorporating DNAstic degeneration.

'Well – are we all excited to be celebrating the Platinum Jubilee?’ said Johno with a smirk. ‘How convenient that Randy Andy got tested positive for Covid and couldn’t attend celebrations at St Paul’s Cathedral. Luckily for him, they have stopped tracing close contacts. Potentially avoiding any more lurid stories that could best be described as, virgin on the ridiculous.

'You have to give the Firm credit though,’ said Johno. ‘They have invented an ingenious form of power and influence, at absolutely no cost to themselves.’ Alphy and Janno grinned in anticipation of the answer. ‘They have created an integral part of the whole system of Monarchy, the bestowing of honours. This opaque process results in a subtle and insidious form of mutual dependency, those who desperately crave their OBE, MBE, Knighthood etc and the controlling aristocracy and elite that can dispense them. Resulting in sovereignty surrounded by sycophancy.’

'Some are worthy recipients though,’ said Janno.

‘No doubt,’ said Johno. ‘However, Jimmy Savile, Rolf Harris, Robert Mugabe and Harvey Weinstein, to name a few, illustrate the contrary.’

Alphy couldn’t help himself. ‘Well then, how on Earth, does Australia continue to have, a Head of State who is not Australian – but is British?’

'Just to remind you Alphy, the Royal Family are experts on re-branding. Far from an ancient British lineage, last century they changed their name from Saxe-Coburg-Gotha, to the oh so British sounding, House of Windsor.

'It’s indeed embarrassing here in Australia, remnants of Colonial Cringe, still remaining. The problem is which Republican model is to be adopted? A Head of State, selected by the Parliament, or one chosen by popular vote.’

Alphy briefly amused himself with an alternative idea, someone from another planet. Alphy thought he would make an excellent Head of State for the Aussie Saps. He had often heard people describe the Royal Family as not living in the real world, so surely the transition to an ‘Alien’ would not be too traumatic. He would even be willing to change his earthly appearance to suit. Grow larger ears, lose hair and start dressing badly.

'Well whichever model we eventually adopt, let’s hope it’s a Female,’ said Janno.

‘Or even better, Transgender,’ said Johno with a mischievous smile.

Alphy had to restrain himself, Centaurians being gender-fluid throughout their very long lives, (with physical appearance and sexuality, the whim of the individual at the time). Regretfully, he resisted the urge to shout out, ‘Hey – I would be your perfect Head of State.’

Janno deliberately veered the conversation in a new direction. ‘Well at least the lights are still on. Isn’t it incredible that after nine years of energy policy indolence by the Coalition, the new leader of the opposition Peter Dutton criticises the new government of four weeks, for their handling of the current energy crisis. It is unbelievable, Australia is the third-largest producer of energy in the world and here we are, faced with supply issues and rapidly escalating prices.’

'Peter “can I fake empathy” Dutton, is like an arsonist who blames the fire department for their fire management strategy,’ said Johno. ‘Speaking of transitioning, we should have started the transition away from coal to alternatives, a decade ago.’

Unfortunately for the Saps, thought Alphy, they were still so far down the energy evolutionary journey, he wondered how long it would take to become fossil free. And could they actually, get there in time?

Back on AC (Alpha Centauri) every household had their own stand-alone fusion-based perpetual energy system, known as FUCKED (FUSION COLLIDER KINETIC ENERGY DISTRIBUTION). Ironically, thought Alphy, given events he had seen recently in Ukraine first-hand, this was not the first time it would have been appropriate to tell the Saps, the need to get FUCKED.

Robert StygallJuly 4, 2022