Tears of a Clown

’Well,’ said Johnno, ‘another Leader with the narcissism and incompetent liar combo is forced to leave against their will. Boris is the reluctant recipient of Tory transition therapy, PM to MP reassignment. As Keir Starmer so eloquently put it, “the sinking ship is deserting the rat.”’

'Can we trust him to actually keep his word though? He said he will remain until the Tory party reelects a new leader, and that could take until September,’ said Janno.

'Yes,’ said Johno, ‘you can imagine Boris with sword in hand, defiantly bare chested on his horse, storming the Houses of Parliament, “once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more.” Luckily, unlike our American cousins, the POMs don’t have the inclination for armed insurrection.

'No the actual scenario I envisage is a tearful Boris, giving his last hurrah to his few remaining supporters, accompanied by the tune of Smokey Robinson’s “Tears of a Clown.”

'And what bloody legacy will he leave behind? He still hasn’t even finalised Brexit. In particular the all important Northern Ireland protocol, governing the border between it and the Republic of Ireland.

'He is a classic Sociopath. As many others have observed, he displayed emptiness of real ambition, the ambition to do anything useful with office once it is attained. It was all about his own fame and gratification.’

'Putin must be having the last laugh now. Following Boris at the recent G7 meeting making jokes about Putin riding around bare chested, showing off his pec’s?’ Enquired Janno.

Alphy paused before he spoke, as he reflected on Putin. Alphy knew he would have been added onto the list of Intergalactic Crimes against the Universe, but without direct intervention, this would be of little value to the thousands of Saps still to die from his actions. Unfortunately, he knew the Guardians had determined that the Saps were not worthy of direct intervention.

'I wonder if it is a good idea to bait someone who has both the capability and inclination to use nuclear weapons, in his ongoing war with Ukraine,’ replied Alphy.

'Fair point,’ said Johnno. ‘Ruthless RasPUTIN has shown he is capable of inflicting terrible atrocities. He has well and truly fucked up invading Ukraine, and this makes him potentially even more dangerous and unpredictable. One of his stated intentions for the invasion was to prevent NATO from expanding its presence closer to Russia. Now what were once fiercely committed neutral countries, Sweden and Finland, which by the by has a 1,300 kilometre border with Russia, have applied to join NATO and their application has been accepted. This is the Nordic Noir nightmare that he never anticipated. So ironically, he has well and truly lost his shirt over this onslaught.’

Alphy had quickly caught on to the Aussie Sap’s use of irony, and couldn’t help himself. 'Plus, Australia was formally invited to attend the recent NATO meeting. Which must have sent shock waves through the Kremlin.’

'Funnily enough,’ said Johno, ‘following Russian naval cruises in Southern Australian waters in the 1880s, one of our earliest Forts was constructed at Queenscliffe, to defend against a potential Russian invasion. The original Tsar Wars. Which brings us to the latest wannabe Tsar, direct from the Dark Side, Darth inVader. So Zelensky mate, “May the force be with you”’.

Later, the conversation moved on to the US. Janno wiped the tears from her eyes. ‘How awful for women in the US. The right to control their bodies has been reversed by the Supreme Court, and guess who it will impact most. The poor and disadvantaged. So those who can afford it, and are independent, and live in States banning abortions, will just travel to another State where abortion is still legal.

'What next? Banning the right to purchase contraception? Abolishing the right to same-sex marriage?’

'Well, Trump has left them his dreadful legacy of stacking the Supreme Court,’ agreed Johno.

'And with reference to Trump,’ he added with a smirk, ‘I’ll quote a previous Australian Prime Minister Gough Whitlam, “Let me make quite clear that I am for abortion and, in your case Sir, we should make it retrospective”

'We also have the latest Supreme Court rulings. Confirming Americans have a right to carry firearms in public for self-defence and overturning the power of the Federal Government agency the EPA, to enforce environmental controls.

'So emerging from the womb made impregnable by a Supreme Court ruling, children will grow up in a deleterious environment due to catastrophic climate change, and continue to enjoy the Freedom to be subsequently shot by strangers. From Womb to Tomb – via the American version of the Bullet Train.’

Robert StygallJuly 12, 2022